Possesive = Insecure?

Have you been in a situation or have u experienced where you are afraid to lose something?   I named that situation as “insecure condition.”
Usually insecure condition happens when people have something they like or they love too much.  For example, when we have someone we love, we mostly being possessive of our partner, because we are afraid to lose him/her.
So, can we assume that being possessive = insecure condition?

I analyzed of several couples. Some of them are possessive and others are not. Mostly the spouse is the one insecure, he or she always being possessive. He or she never allow their partner to make new friends unless together with him or her. Their life is just between him and his partner. Why? Because they afraid their partner having an affair out there. Why? Because they have problems or weakness where they can not handle and face it. 

Like a man in an inferiority complex, there’re so many reasons why a man have inferiority complex. In my opinion, sometimes when a man being inferiority, it because for example he doesn’t have a job, or maybe he has a problem in bed. Those are two things that a man should be having right? And of course there is still another reason about that. The impact of the situation, man tend overprotect his girl friend. Sometimes he never allows his partner to do some activities without reason, and finally it makes the relationship not going well.  One feel insecure, and other feel afraid to make her partner being angry (because he is very over protective). So I think that is not a healthy relationship.

When you feel secure and comfortable with your life, it will be different the way you treat your partner, compared to when you feel insecure.

So if we feel secure with our life, why we should be very possessive?

Sigtuna, an old town which reminds me of HC Anderson’s story book.

At this picture is a unique cafe, very swedish :)

Sigtuna, an old town which reminds me of HC Anderson’s story book.

Still in the winter day, beautiful white snow and yes it is very cold (about minus 14 degree Celcius). I went to Sigtuna, a quiet village between Stockholm and Uppsala. You can go by car (with car about 35 minutes from Kallhall ) or pendeltag and bus from Marsta. Sigtuna is the oldest town of Sweden, and it was the capital of the region.

I was enjoying that trip and taking pictures of nice wooden houses which reminded me of the story book by HC Andersen. Those wooden houses looks like what I saw in my story book when I was child. It is so interesting for me, I felt that I was entering the house of the HC Andersen’s story.

Oh that was a beautiful view, I also like the atmosphere. I passed an old hotel , and there is a big lake in front of the hotel. But it had changed and frozen on a cold day like this, so people are skiting at that lake.

the lake fron of the hotel had changed and frozen..!! bbrrrr

When I saw a small café with a very traditional look, I wanted to entered it. Even though it was very quiet, not many people visiting Sigtuna, but when I entered the café I realized that there were many people inside, and it was full. I did not get any table to sit. Arrgghhh. I was freezing!! Lucky, finally when I moved to another café then got warmed with a cup of coffee and a piece of cake. It was worth to visit this town even if it was freezing, coz there are lot of interesting historical sights, Nice wooden houses, café, museum, and shop with Swedish art. Silent but sweet.

Shop and galery in Sigtuna

A new year, ...year full of promises

Tanggal satu bulan satu…pagi yang indah, dimana hampir semua orang pada hari pertama tahun baru masih menikmati hari liburnya ( kecuali yang engga libur,…im so sorry beib ).

Tapi bagaimanapun keadaan hari itu, sepertinya semua orang ingin menjadi yang lebih baik. Janji baru, tekad baru, semangat baru, achievement baru , hmmmm awal tahun merupakan moment penuh tekad dan janji. Beberapa teman ada yang janji mau lebih sering exercise, janji mau menengok orang tua lebih sering lagi, janji mau travel ke tempat yang baru , janji mulai diet, janji akan meluangkan waktu lebih buat keluarga, janji ngga shopping lagi (itu mungkin kamu juga ya), janji bangun lebih pagi lagi, janji mau ngelamar tunangannya, dan masih banyak lainnya …oya termasuk janji mau lebih sering menulis …(nyindir eh).

Sejak “auld lang syne” menjadi salah satu theme song di film Sex and the city, maka sejak saat itulah aku suka mengingat scene dimana Carrie Bradshow salah satu tokoh disitu berjuang keras menerjang salju dan dinginya malam untuk menemui sahabatnya Miranda yang saat itu lagi lonely berat gara gara malam itu dia harus melewatkan malam pergantian tahun tanpa anak dan partnernya. So sweet akhirnya setelah berlari lari tanpa kepeleset salju, si Carrie berhasil nyampe ke apartemen Miranda tepat sebelum bel jam 12 malam berdentang…..dan mereka ngga sendirian karena bisa berbagi kebahagiaan saat itu bersama. Dan tahun baru jadi lebih indah!

Ternyata Miranda seorang tokoh yang disitu digambarkan sebagai cewek yang super mandiri dan cool juga sama seperti manusia lainnya yang ngga suka sendirian di hari hari penting. It’s human being right. Bagaimanapun lebih baik berbagi, daripada sendirian. Tapi pastinya buat yang benar benar sedang ingin sendiri pada saat tahun baru bukannya mereka ngga bahagia. Tapi mereka menemukan kebahagiaannnya dengan caranya sendiri.

Apapun itu, tampaknya tahun baru dipenuhi dengan orang yang berpikir positif untuk menjadi manusia yang lebih baik dan berkualitas lagi.

Ohhhh Indahnya……..

Udah dulu ya aku mau bikin kroket eh.

so Are u Tissue or handkerchief?

Friend of mine one said there are 2 types of relationship : Those are Handkerchief and Tissue paper’s type. As we know that we use tissue paper just for one time and after that we throw it. We never use it anymore . But Handkerchief, after we use it, we tend to wash and make it clean , iron it, give a little bitfragrance, keep it at the right place, and then we can use it again, again and again because we always want to use and keep it. tissue is temporary,..meanwhile handkerchief is more lasting.

It related with a relationship between man and woman, it can be casual relationship (tissue type) or long term relationship (handkerchief) that it might be end up with marriage. Mostly Guy meet various women and he won’t be stop until he found the perfect one such as a woman in his dream. Even he maybe meet a woman close with what he wants, but at the other time if he meet other woman who more attractive, his adrenaline like to whisper that he should get that woman, sometime its not cause he really want her, but it more just such as challenging to prove wheter he still has a power to draw attention of woman or not. May be it one of reasons if man were tend to choose a ‘’casual / tissue relationship’’ (please correcting me as i know u must be have another opinion in ur mind) It means a relationship just for fun. Meanwhile a man who is already really feel comfort with his partner and tired to challenge his self, finally he is going to stop his “adventure’ and call his relationship like a handkerchief relationship.

By the way, this is another thing, one of my friends, he declare his relationship as a tissue paper. I wondering why he choose tissue, not handkerchief? And here is the answer….As his opinion, relationship like a tissue for him it more simple and not bothered him with things that will be make his life miserable, because it no needs maintenance, no heart feeling, and more fun. If he choose handkerchief, he should maintain, give more attention, more effort to keep it going on and on and on, and maybe sometime getting bored just with one partner.

Pffffuiiihh….. I just heard about that thing. Honestly I have a curiousity, which one does every single man in this world choose. kind of a Tissue relationship, or Handkerchief Relationship…Honestly, which one?

hmmmmmm.......

So…Are u Tissue guy or Handkerchief Guy?

soulmate?

Can U tell me what is soulmate actually? My friends said soulmate is real. Other friend not sure about that , and me neither.

I think it depends on how people describe about soulmate. My friend has an idea about soulmate, it is not just related with men and women relationship, but it more general. Such as our mother, our best friend, our sister, our father, or someone who close with us. one of them can be our soulmate may be. Because he/she always know and sensitive about our feeling. He/She always around when we sad, when we upset down. He/She like our home, when we cannot stand up for any body,we don’t know where we go, finally we will go back for him/her. Because he/she is the person who make us comfort in any situation. We feel secure of him/her.

Other friend said that soulmate is her other heart. When he meet someone he loves, he can says that she is his soulmate. But I don’t understand, when couple who love each other and then getting married, sometimes people also say that they already find their soulmate. But it can be happen that several years later they are going to divorce. And then, are they still called soulmate? Yes? Or not anymore? If So , then soulmate is temporary, isn’t it?...

I really want to know who is my soulmate actually….

and i think...my partner in crime also my sister is might be my soulmate..and of course my hubby...

How about u dong? dang ding dong...

Xmas market yang dingin tapi manis

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Kemaren tuh mau ke christmas market di Gammal Stan, tapi bingung menetukan topi mana yang musti dipake….yang agak2 purple…Or yang hitam? ( Ck..ck..ck..wanita…)

Akhirnya si hitamlah pemenangnya…

Christmas market dipenuhi hal yang berbau khas natal. Ada pepparkaka kue kering tipis dengan bentuk hati, bintang (rasanya kayak kayu manis gitu) lalu ada minuman khas yang juga munculnya Cuma pas Christmas, namanya glogg, diminum panas panas, hmmm kalo kita pernah minum setup sepertinya agak menjurus ke situ deh rasanya dengan bermacam macam rempah (atau itu hanya perasaan lidahku aja, ayo benarkan kalo ini totally wrong), tapi glogg lebih strong karena ditambahkan alkohol dan berwarna merah maroon. Lalu berbagai macam jam sperti rasa strawberry, ananas, marmelade, yang benar benar lebih yummy karena ini home made, dan pastinya banyak Christmas decoration , coklat dan kerabatnya. Yang jelas kalo ke tempat ini kita menikmati suasananya yang kental dengan natal dan dingin dingin gimana gitu. Dingin tapi menggigil (sama aja ya maknanya).

Emmhh ia jadi ingat habis ini punya beberapa list yang sudah ditulis oleh kerabat my hubby untuk dibeli sebagai hadiah natal. Rupanya keluargaku disini punya sesuatu yang khas dalam hal tukar menukar kado. Masing masing boleh menulis list apa yang diinginkan di hari natal, lalu di kirimlah lewat email atau langsung telpon aja, setelah itu baru kita beli. Well ini mungkin agak aneh mulanya tapi jadi lebih efisien karena hadiah itu pastinya terpakai, karena menurut beberapa teman, disini after xmas , mall dipenuhi oleh orang yang akan tukar barang (kado kado natal dari kerabat dan teman yang mereka kurang cocok, misal ukuran baju dll), bisa ditukar dengan duit or barang lain. Biasanya dengan kerabat dekat bon pembelian bisa disertakan di dalam kado itu agar mereka bisa tukar hadiahnya ke toko yang menjual barang tersebut. 

Oya lebih seru juga setelah xmas ternyata sale baru berlangsung secara serentak. Big sale dan kerabatnya! Ahaa…ternyata kesempatan ini juga dipakai oleh beberapa orang dalam memberikan kado natal. Di hari Natal mereka Cuma dapat kartu dengan tulisan misalnya seperti ini : “ kamu dapat hadiah Natal berupa laptop dan sepatu, tapi hadiah menyusul setelah tanggal 25 desember .”

Xmas bisa juga bikin baper alias terbawa perasaan pas ada Salju yang romantis dengan lampu lampu hias sepanjang jalan serta pertokoan, ditambah dengan lagu2 natal yang menambah manisnya suasana natal. Eh tapi ini juga bisa bikin lupa diri pas belanja, soalnya serasa belanja ada theme songnya. 

Kalo kamu gimana?

Akhirnya Jariku Menari nari lagi...

Aih senangnya bisa menulis lagi, entah mau jadi apa endingnya yang jelas kangen untuk nulis ini harus diwujudkan. Akhirnya hari ini setelah komat kamit eh ngga deng, masak komat kamit sih kayak mau lempar dadu undian aja….Maksudnya setelah pikir pikir akhirnya berhasil lah membuat sebuah blog lagi. Ditambah banyak dukungan dan doa restu dari warga jogja, salatiga, jakarta, Kuwana, Leipzig dan sekitarnya (ih lebai ahhh).

Yuhuuu pastinya kerinduan untuk menulis ini bisa diwujudkan dalam berbagai tema tulisan yang pastinya ngga jauh dari lika liku hidup disekitar, teman, kenalan, tetangga (aih belom begitu mingle ama tetangga hiks hiks, maklum warga baru disini) dan warna warni asam manis pahit dunia yang jinak jinak merpati ini (ya jinak kalo lagi pada banyak duit kale yaa..hihihi).

Oya aku sekarang tinggal di Stockholm ibu kota Swedia yang sangat sosialis dan katanya selain terkenal dengan IKEA nya, trus Pipi si kaus panjang, dll juga terkenal disini wanitanya cantik cantik dan blonde (udah deh jangan sampe ngiler ngebayanginya).

Dinginnya jangan ditanya, hari ini aja udah mencapai minus empat, tapi sayangnya awal Desember ini belom muncul salju juga, dan pelengkap kesyahduannya adalah : Matahari terbenam mulai pukul 3 sore sodara sodara !!! (tolong deh, jam tiga udah kayak maghrib, untung ngga ada ayam piaraan disekitar sini, jadinya dia ngga protes karena main2 di luarnya jadi terbatas).

Trus hari ini aku udah ngapain aja ya? Ahaaa,….hari ini praktek bikin kroket klasik (setelah sms n nanya my sister tepung panir itu apaan, lalu sms my hubby menanyakan: letak tepung panir dimana sayang? Aku pikir itu sodaraan ama tepung maizena, ternyata mereka memang bertetanggaan letaknya, sama sama di laci bawah tapi tepung panir letaknya agak nyelip kebelakang…..udah bisa ngebayanginya?), dan mau tau ga jadinya seperti apa? Huhuyyyy…. apa? (ih jangan berprasangka buruk dulu deh),..hasilnya sih enak rasanya, benar2 seperti kroket, tapi dari penampakannya malah kayak trenggiling, itu lho binatang yg suka guling2 lalu jadi kayak bola…hiiiiii….najong deh. Geli sendiri liatnya. Akhirnya aku tinggal nulis.

Kesusahan hari ini cukuplah untuk hari ini….wakakakaka…

PS: Pas my hubby pulang dia nanya:"masak apa ini sayang?"

"ooo..ini namanya Kroket klasik (ngga mungkin dong aku bilang itu trenggiling goreng)

Lalu dia dg lahapnya makan kroket klasik itu

"Wahhh enakk banget...kamu bisa memasak enak!"

Hihihi tuh kan enakkkkkk....(dont judge kroket by its cover), udah ya...dinner dulu ya...